I was minding my own business
4th gear on highway one
Squashing bugs with my headlight
Playing tag with the sun.
Then a shadow fell, I said what the Hell
Here comes a S.U.V.
Little teenage chick putting on her lipstick
She never even noticed me.
I’m Bitchin’ Bob, bitch, bitch, bitch.
I got ants in my pants I got a bolt in my hip.
The way some folks drive is just so retarded.
I’m Bitchin’ Bob, don’t get me started.
Well I thought about climbing up on her roof rack
But the thing was just too damn high.
And anyway I was kinda busy watching my life flash
before my eyes.
Yeah, I saw mom and dad and that Schwinn I had,
And my dog when I was young.
Then my movie ended when I befriended
Milepost 41.
I’m Bitchin’ Bob, bitch, bitch, bitch.
I got ants in my pants I got a bolt in my hip.
Now I’m not complaining, I’m just a little annoyed.
I’m Bitchin’ Bob and my bike’s destroyed.
(Instrumental bridge)
So there I was, strapped to the stretcher;
little EMT girl by my side.
The way she kept joking and making me laugh
I was almost enjoying the ride.
Six months later I called to date her,
We honeymooned in Sturgess.
And She’s to blame for my nickname,
But hey, I think I earned it.
I’m Bitchin’ Bob, bitch, bitch, bitch.
I got ants in my pants I got a bolt in my hip.
I can’t walk around the way I used to.
I’m Bitchin’ Bob, how are you?
Man, get that cell phone out of your ear and drive
These morons. Look at this guy - pick a lane man.
Dumber than a footprint. Oh man, I don’t know.
